Problem:
I lie all the time. Not like a lie to cover myself, but I just make up stuff about my life and tell my friends this. I hate doing this. Also, a few months ago I found out my best friend has been lying consisently. Not really the same as me. She'd lie about how she felt, what she had done (Self harm once). Once she even said she was moving house! To top it all off, she told me she had been in love with me. (That was true) I ended the frienship after that. I also have depression. I was being bullied at school last year, it's better this year. But because of this I have a Anxiety disorder. I still really hate my old friend. My hands are actually shaking as I write this. I've cut myself before. I've stopped now. But it's all so hard. Thankyou!
It’s so difficult to admit, even to yourself, that you’re telling lies, so you’ve already achieved something by writing. Congratulations, this is a good start.
Answer:
I wonder why you make stuff up about yourself. Is it to make yourself seem more interesting, more exciting? Do you get more attention because of the things you make up? Don’t you think your friends would like you as much if they knew the truth? Let me reassure you that your friends would much prefer to know the real you than someone you are pretending to be. When you found out that your best friend had been lying to you, you weren’t happy about it, and I guess that your friends would feel the same if they knew you hadn’t told them the truth, even though it may have been about things which didn’t matter too much.
I’m so pleased that you’ve now stopped cutting yourself and hope that you never feel so bad about yourself that you want to do it again.
I wonder if you realise just what a special person you are. You are unique. When God made you, he only made one of you. He was pleased with what he had made and you are special to him. He loves you, just exactly the way you are. He doesn’t need you to pretend to be different and he doesn’t want you to dislike yourself to the extent of either pretending to be different or doing some harm to yourself. I hope that you will be able to accept just how very special you are, and also that you will be able to accept yourself just the way you are.
Problem:
I haven't had any problems for ages so my youth leader and all my mates find that I'm the one who listens to everyone elses problems and hasnt got any of there own. But now i do but when i try to tell them they don't listen. I dont really want to tell them as they may just think im looking 4 attention.
Recently 2 people have told me they think im fat and i kinda went 2 not eating nethink 4 about 3 dayz and i wanna talk and get it all sorted so i can go back to the normal me. But please help as I dont know what to do and i'm not coping with it.
> Please Please help
Answer:
To me it sounds like you NEED some attention! And your friends are the ones that should give it to you so don't feel bad about looking for it from them. It seems like you're tired of people taking you for granted and assuming that you are fine when really you're not fine. Your youth leader should listen too. Have you tried talking to them properly or have you just assumed they won't take your problems seriously? If you're worried about your friends thinking bad about you for having a problem then you've just got to convince them that you are for real and that you need someone to listen to YOUR problems for a change. But don't be too drastic. Not eating for days on end is not sensible and really dangerous.
Firstly, try not to pay too much attention to the people who called you fat. They probably did it to be nasty. It's every girls weak spot cos we are so hung up on being thin so we take it as news worse that death when we are called fat. If you know you are not then ignore them. But if you think that there is a hint of truth in it, try to exercise a little more and eat more healthily. Do something positive and you will soon start to feel better about yourself. Starving yourself will certainly not help you, it will just mess up your body.
Remember that even if you feel you can't talk to anyone, you can talk to God and He is there for you!
Problem:
My problem is I am pretty lonely. This makes me flatter people for attention. Though I know that I am doing wrong, there always seems to be a subconcious effort to please people. I am losing my self esteem and at the same time people are taking undue advantage of my willingness to conform to whatever they suggest. I am a straight forward guy and believe that being simple and straight is the easiest way of life. I don't want to change that because I like myself for that. But when people misuse me I feel miserable.
Give me some good tips to handle my insecurity and boost my self esteem.
> Please Please help
Answer:
The best ways to deal with insecurity is to combat your lonliness, & try to boost your confidence. The most importnt thing to realise is that lonliness is not in others, but in yourself. You may be the most popular bloke on the planet, but not realise it! Or it could be that your confidence needs boosting to allow you a sense of belonging, and help you to be more open & get on with people easier. You need to accept that it is possible for you to identify the source of your lonliness, helping you to conquer it.
Something that I ALWAYS find helpful is to bring any problems I have before God (in prayer). It isn't His will that you should feel lonely.He wants you to have rich & meaningful relationships with a whole range of people. You said that you are willing, straightforward, and like to be simple, & that you don't want to change. So don't! Theres nothing wrong with honesty or willingness. Let people accept you for who you are. Also remember that, no matter how lonely & miserable you may feel, God will always love you far more than anyone else ever could, and wants to be your best mate! All you have to do is accept him.
So, try to identify why you feel like you do (it could be something that happened in the past, a recent event that had a hard effect on you, etc), & use that as a source from which you can start to conquer your insecurity. I hope that helps you!!!
Problem:
I HAVE LEFT MY CHURCH AND FEEL VERY LONELY
> Please Please help
Answer:
Church is like a family so when we leave it then no wonder we get loneliness pangs! Why not go back to your church, or look for a new one where you can find friends and fellowship?
You don't mention why you left your church but whatever your reasons are, don't let your relationship with God go. Ultimately He is all you need - a friend, a father, a counsellor - and He is always with us. But as you are finding out, we need relationship with other people too. A church, is a great place to find friendship as the people there share your faith and generally are loving and supportive. Whether you go back to the church you left or find a new one, I would advice you to find a church fellowship and hopefully this will take away the loneliness.
Problem:
Do you have any tips for a victim of bullying, through calling of names and saying nasty things about my family?> Please Please help
Answer:
This is a hard question to answer without knowing the specifics. However, I would say that even though its hard, to try and ignore it and maybe be somewhere else. Most people who do this sort of thing will generally get bored after a while, especially if they are getting no response. Stay close to your good friends; this may help you with feeling more secure and may also avoid any confrontation. Its a hard one - remember though that they are your family and you know them best, don't let some idiot think he knows you or them better.
