Problem:
I am so mixed up i had been selfharming and making myself sick when i wasn't starving myself for over a year. i recently gave it all to God but ive gone 2 weeks and im starting to take backsteps i want to get pregnant i dont know why but im finding it hard to fight it. my dream is to eventually set up a selfharm ministry but i need to get over this first. i have some awesome people there for me at my church but recently my sister is been led away from god so now i hardly see her and i admire her so much i feel as if im been pulled in so many directions i dunno what to do im so confused.  one of my sisters has gone to the other side of the world and my other sister is too busy for me please help. Xxxx

Answer:

You have gone through so much in the last year or so, it’s not surprising that you are finding life is tough, and you are struggling to stay with it.  So, the first thing is to recognise that your reactions aren’t that unusual, and to congratulate yourself for having made that first, very difficult, step of telling someone about how you feel.

Becky, I would just love you to be able to see yourself as God sees you.  When he looks at you, he sees someone he has made, someone who he loves, someone who is important and special to him.  I believe that he wants to see you released from all the heavy stuff you are trying to carry round with you, so you can be free to be the person he wants you to be.

You say that you recently gave it all to God, but it looks as though you aren’t content to leave it with him, so you’ve taken it back again.  If you’re going to leave it with God, then you’re going to need some support, someone who will help you.  You say that you’ve had some awesome people there for you at your church, which is great, so I hope you can find the support and friendship you need there.  Is there someone at church, such as a Youth Leader, who would be prepared to give you some time?  Could you be completely honest with them, telling them where you’re at, if you’re self-harming, how you’re getting on with God etc.?  Would you be prepared to be accountable to them (allow them to keep a check on you; give them permission to ask you personal stuff about how you’re doing; take them seriously when they try to keep you straight)?  If so, I think this sort of relationship would help you to leave all this stuff behind you and to move on.  Having done this, it time you may well be able to help the people who are going through the difficult times which you have faced.

Problem:

hello i would like some advice
is masturbation ok? is it wrong with God and if so why?
please help me

Answer:

Matthew 5:27-28 - Those who use this passage remark that masturbation involves lusting. And while masturbation is never specifically mentioned as sin in the Bible, lust is. This passage then becomes clear proof that masturbation, with its inseparable partner, lust, is condemned by Jesus.

The issue of masturbation cannot be regulated either by license (anything goes) or by legalism (nothing allowed). No so-called proof texts in the Bible indicate that masturbation is wrong. No proof texts apply universal freedom to the issue either. This would indicate that masturbation is going to be a matter of personal conviction. For some it will be sin, for others it will not.

I would think that in most cases, as with most things, too much is never healthy. If you cannot control how much you do it or of what you think of when you do it then I would say you have a problem with it. If you don't masturbate you won't die, so I suggest that you pray about it and try and have a level of restraint and not let it become to big an issue. The book which gave me some insight into this is 'The Struggle' by Steve Gerali. An excellent book and most helpful.

Problem:

Just reading one of the previous problems about bad things happening to good people, but wot about natural disasters? these are pretty much not man made, n like the recent tsunami, killing thousands of lifes in a third world country. people ask me how can your God allow this? I find it hard to explain and understand this myself. Would you be able to put this into perspective for me? Please? Thankyou

Answer:

Psalm 46:1-3We cannot truly understand what happened on Boxing Day last year and we can definitely not understand why it happened. I do not think God made it happen but He was sad that it did happen. There is a passage in the bible that speaks of the earth and the climates and the seas being out of kilter with each other because of the way things have happened in the world. We do live in a broken world where bad things happen, the simple answer but sadly what seems a poor answer, is that we don't know why. But what we do know is that God is present, God is sad when things like this happen, God does act when he sees his children suffering, our God is not an absent God. In Daniel 2:27-28 it speaks of the fact that there is a God in heaven who can help us with these things, a God in heaven who will outlast all things and will be our strength and rock always. - Psalm 46:1-3

Problem:

This may sound a bit stupid but on Semptember the 11th the people who bombed the Twin Towers said that they had done it for God and that he is on their side. We believe that God is on our side aswell. Everybody says that them men will go 2 hell, but will they? If they believe they r doing the right thing and we do, Who is right. Please reply because this question has been on my mind 4 a long time. Thanks.

> Please Please help

Answer:

For centuries many different people have been trying to find the path to God, whether this be by fulfilling the Five Pillars of Islam, keeping to the Eight Fold Path of Buddhism, or even by obeying the Ten Commandments.
People can do what they like to try and please God, but He has already taken the initiative - He sent Christ.

People will try to do acts to please God, such as the bombers of the Twin Towers thought they were pleasing God and earning a place in Heaven, but Jesus alone is the way to God - He died on the Cross for our sin, and the only way to have a relationship with God is to accept that we've done wrong stuff and ask Christ to forgive us and invite Him into our hearts.

Jesus taught us to "turn the other cheek." God is a god of peace and justice. Jesus was called the Prince of Peace. Acts of war & terrorism are not endorsed by God and cannot be fought in the name of God - It is like someone doing something in your name when you specifically told them not to.

Problem:

I'm 18 and have been a Christian for 5 yrs. Although I've been brought up in the Salvation Army since i was small I have this major wall between me and God. That is that I'm a lesbian and have been for almost 3 years. i dont know what to do coz most people say God hates it. But how can He if He made me and this is who I am? This is what im happy with. I just dont like men. am i sinning?

> Please Please help

Answer:

It is good that youFirst of all let me assure you that NOTHING you do could make God love you less. He loves you so much more than you can ever imagine and nothing will change his feelings towards you, whether you are a lesbian or not! He loves everyone, even thiefs, murderers and rapists.

However, obviously He doesn't LIKE the stealing, the murdering or the raping. And it says in the Bible that God also doesn't like the act of homosexual sex. God created sex and sexual attraction and while we can't control sexual attraction, we can control what we do about it. And God clearly says that sexual experience outside of marriage is wrong. Sex is meant for within marriage for many reasons, principally to protect us - from STDs, from hurt and rejection, from unwanted pregnancies etc (take a look at the Sex presentation on the site for more....).

All unmarried Christians who want to obey God and live His best for themselves, whether they are homosexual or heterosexual, must stick to this. So if you are unmarried, then stay away from sexual relationships. Being a lesbian may be a phase, or you may be one for the rest of your life, but you're going to have to work through it with God and come to terms with it. This is what heterosexual single Christians have to do too - they in essence say "obeying God and keeping His commands is more important that sex".

It doesn't make you a bad person for being a lesbian. BEING a lesbian isn't a sin in itself, it is something that you can't help. However doing something about your homosexuality and actually being in and HAVING a homosexual relationship IS wrong. Live within God's best for you and God will help you and bless you for your commitment to obeying Him. Never forget His love for you and His desire to be close to you, and never forget His grace and forgiveness for the times when you've messed up.

Problem:

this isnt really a "tough" question, but how do you tell your friend that reading "star signs" is bad for you in the long run and that stuff like ouija boards are wrong?

> Please Please help

Answer:

Here are a few suggestions in tackling this issue which hopefully will help you talk to your friends about it.

Firstly, it is important not to condemn your friends for their interest in this stuff. If they think you are getting at them, they won't want to listen to what you have to say.

So, with horoscopes you could affirm an interest in wanting to know the future and stuff but then point out the positive outlook of the future that knowing God gives, i.e. the hope of better things, not needing to worry because we have the assurance that God has our future totally in his hands.

For Ouija boards we can affirm an interest in spiritual things and say that we are spiritual people but again show that, with God we have access to the positive side of spirituality and can know the ultimate spiritual force - the true and living GOD, and that it is a personal realtionship that he has with us!

The key is not nessecarily to be negative about what they are doing but rather to show them that they are missing out on something so much better i.e KNOWING GOD - who is the ultimate spiritual force and is the only one who holds the future in his hands. We have the good news so be good news in the way you approach this, point out the positive stuff in knowing God more than condemn what they are doing.

Problem:

what does the bible say about masterbation?

> Please Please help

Answer:

Firstly, let me say that you are not alone. It is reckoned that 90-95% of males between 18 and 30 do/have masterbated. But whatever the Bible says about masterbation, it is as clear on God's grace that if we have sinned and messed up, God will forgive us and help us start again. God knows that we stuff up and however that is, He still loves us just as much as anyone else. We aren't less lovely in His opinion just because we may have masturbated.

So what does God say about it? There is nothing specific in the Bible about masterbation but there are clear guidelines about sexual experience which we can apply to the subject. The Bible says that men and women were created to be together. Genesis 2 verse 24 says "A man will leave his parents and be united to his wife (ie marriage) and they will become one flesh (ie sex)". The Bible limits sexual experience to within marriage and there are many reasons for this. (To see these reasons and more about this issue go to the Spirituality - "Lifestyles" section where there is a presentation on sex.) Masterbation is a sexual experience and like any other sexual experience we can therefore say that it is not made for outside of marriage. We are told to aim be pure and to not get involved in sexual immorality. Masterbating compromises our purity so we should make every effort to not do it. We can do this by being sensible about the stuff we read, the films we watch, the influences we are exposed to. We live in a sex mad society and we can't avoid it, but we can be careful about what we take in if we know that it is going to cause a problem sexually.

Problem:

So if God is supposed to be so good, why do crap things happen to good people? Why do we have to suffer? Why do young people die before they are meant to?

> Please Please help

Answer:

Yeah, sometimes when we look around it seems impossible to believe that God even exists, let alone is in control of the world. Wars, pain, broken relationships, murder... Surely if he's so powerful he could just stop them all right now, right? That's true, he could: after all, you can't be all powerful if there's something you can't manage!!

So if God could stop suffering happening then why doesn't he all the time? Well, the answer is that when God created the world people decided they wanted to be their own boss instead of having God lead them. Since they decided that the whole world changed, and pain and death and suffering and stuff came in when they weren't there before. So God didn't intend for it to be like this: wars and death and so on are a consequence of what the Bible calls "sin" - us originally going our own way rather than God's.

Sounds pretty bleak, but, **Newsflash**... He's done something about it! God sent Jesus to take away all the pain and sin we experience in our lives. He doesn't promise that bad stuff will never happen to us again (like people we love won't die), but he does promise that he'll be with us through everything; and ALSO that if we accept Jesus then we'll go to heaven and they'll be no crying or pain or anything like that there.